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It Takes Most Of Us 50 years to learn
The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of
helicopters in it.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,
deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average
drivers.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and
"mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full
potential, that word would be "meetings."
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to
annoy people who are not in them.
If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all
of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity,
he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad
hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is
not a nice person.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
seriously.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take
command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
Your true friends love you, anyway.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
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