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Ain't it the truth?
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than
standing
in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
never tried
before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel
so
good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist
change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three
weeks
before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
a
mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the
real
world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
FACT: Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people
appear
very bright until they speak".
Check out over 400 more jokes, mpegs and funny sayings
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