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Just a few Dumb Blonde Jokes
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at
2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The
second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the
compact. The second one
looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when
the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does
so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde
replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A
friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh,
that's easy: W."
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told
her she was
pregnant? "Is it mine?"
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage
without a scratch
and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the
"Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an
Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped."
Well, how in the
world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began.
"I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in
front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved
to the left
and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was
another tree! I
swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am,"
the officer said,
cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30
miles. That was your air
freshener swinging back and forth."
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on all the
channels, and a
K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat
down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to
find all my possessions
stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They
send me a
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