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Guys, Keep Your Mouth Shut...
 
  A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet
  rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who
  comes over immediately.
 
  When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should
  bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins
  to gently caress his full beard.
 
  "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face
  with both hands.
 
  "Actually, no." the man replies.
 
  "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says,
  running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
 
  "I'm afraid I can't", breathes the bartender.
  "Is there anything I can do?"
 
  "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues
  huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing
  him to suck them gently.
 
  "What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
 
  "Tell him", she whispers, "There is no toilet paper or hand soap in
  the ladies room."

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