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Idiots

IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact
the telephone repair people.  They promised to be out between
8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.   When I asked if they could give me a
smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you
like us to call you before we come?"  I replied that I didn't see
how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working.
He also re-quested that we report future outages by email (Does
YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless
the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare
the signature I had just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the
credit
card in front of her.  She carefully compared the signature to the one
I had just signed on the receipt.  As luck would have it, they
matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason:  too many deer were
being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She
asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.


IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put any-thing in your baggage
without your knowledge?"

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would
I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged coworker of mine
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that
it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving
the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often."  Not a word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights
stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not
turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and  I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick
up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly
  to unlock the driver's side door.  As I watched from the passenger
side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"  To which he
replied,
"I know - I already got that side."

NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?

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